Many parents claim that the hardest stage of parenting is when children are infants, but that things gradually become easier as they grow older. While it’s true that kids become more independent and give parents more time to themselves, new and often more complicated challenges emerge—especially during the teenage years. Parents must adjust to the reality that their children are no longer just kids but growing individuals with their own thoughts and decisions. Here are nine stories that highlight how teenagers can sometimes require more attention than babies.
1. The Difficulty of Loving Two Daughters Differently
I have two grown daughters, but I feel guilty admitting that I love one more than the other. My older daughter was eagerly awaited, but she was never affectionate, even as a child. She has always been distant and cold. We tried to connect with her and nurture empathy, but it’s simply not who she is. She moved away at 18 for school and only contacts us for her grandmother’s birthday. I do love her, but the connection is not as deep as with my younger daughter, who is warm and loving.
2. Pull-Ups and Parenting
I always wanted to master pull-ups but never had the drive—until I became the parent of a teenage daughter. Parenting her can be difficult, and sometimes conversations go in circles. When that happens, I take a break by doing a few pull-ups. This stress-relief routine helps me re-center and gives me the patience to re-engage with her. Slowly but surely, I’ve mastered the pull-up bar, all thanks to managing the stress of raising a teenager.
3. A Mature 12-Year-Old
My sister has strict rules about her son’s computer usage, ensuring he’s off by 11 p.m. When I babysat him one evening, around 10:40 p.m., he asked why I hadn’t reminded him about his bedtime. I responded, “You’re 12; you can figure it out.” He calmly replied, “You don’t care about me or my eyesight!” He then made his bed and went to sleep on time. I was stunned by his maturity and sense of responsibility.
4. A Teenager’s Practical Wisdom
I overheard a mother and daughter talking on the subway. The mom suggested buying her daughter a new phone for school, as her old one was damaged. The daughter asked for a Samsung, but the mom insisted on an iPhone. Surprisingly, the daughter reasoned that a cheaper phone would be more practical and safer from theft. She even suggested using the savings to pay for her grandmother’s dental care. I was amazed by her maturity and practicality at such a young age.
5. A Weekend Getaway from Teen Drama
My husband and I have two teenage children who constantly argue. To escape the chaos, we retreat to our country house on weekends. We invite the kids, but they never come since the internet connection is spotty. While they manage fine at home, we enjoy peaceful evenings with movies and snacks, savoring the quiet. Meanwhile, the teens are perfectly content at home as long as they have Wi-Fi.
6. Raising Independent Sons
When my sons were growing up, I didn’t impose strict rules and let them take responsibility for their own decisions. As a result, their rebellious phases were short-lived, and by the time they were 25, they were practical, sensible adults. Now, when I suggest fun activities, they often decline. One turned down a barbecue to clean the house, while the other used his vacation to install flooring. Meanwhile, at 52, I’m still the one biking through the night!
7. A Familiar Reminder for Judging Teen Choices
Recently, our teenage son brought home a girlfriend with blue hair, piercings, and a spider tattoo. While my husband was uneasy, I welcomed them with open arms, baking a cake and giving them money for a movie. After they left, my husband expressed concern over our son’s choice. To ease his worries, I pulled out our old photo albums, showing him pictures of my teenage years with green hair and multiple piercings. Today, I’m a pediatrician, proving that everyone deserves room to explore and grow.
8. Trusting My Daughter’s Judgment
My 15-year-old daughter has a friend who’s five years older, which raised some concerns. But I trust her judgment. They met on social media and share common interests. Recently, she attended his birthday sleepover, and I was reassured knowing his family. Later, his mother called to confirm my daughter was safe and would be sleeping on the living room sofa. It was a relief, but ultimately, I trust my daughter the most in these situations.
9. A Walk with My Grown Son
Last night, after a long workday, I wanted to go for a walk, but my husband wasn’t interested, and my daughter was out with friends. When my 22-year-old son came home, I jokingly asked if I could join him and his friends. To my surprise, he agreed! We walked through the neighborhood, grabbed fast food, and rented electric scooters. It was my first time riding a scooter, and I couldn’t have been happier.
These real-life stories highlight the unique challenges and joys of raising teenagers, proving that the teenage years can require just as much, if not more, attention than the early childhood stage.